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Transcript for
"The Fairest in the Land"
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Bandicam 2016-11-15 16-43-51-804

(Loud cheers can be heard as the preparation for the Jollys start at the Jollywood Bowl)
Happy: Happy here, comin’ to you live from the biggest awards show of the year, the Jollies. Where everyone goes home a winner!
Villager: (comes up to Happy with his mustache being held by two birds) Last year, I won for "funniest mustache".
Happy: Bet you'll win this year too.
Villager: Actually, I'm hoping to win for "biggest shoes".
Happy: I'd say he's a shoe-in. (the villager walks out as Doc comes in) Oh, and let's give a big "Heigh Ho" to Doc who invented this nifty uh... thing I'm talking in to.
Doc: It's my latest invention, the two-way I-Can-Hear-You-Talk-To-Me-Stringy-Tin-Can-Thingy. So even the folks at home can listen to tonight's festivities.

(cut to the big shoe where The Old Woman Living in the Shoe is listening to the Jollys and her children is playing around and shouting)
Old Woman: (shouts) QUIET DOWN! I'm trying to listen to me program.

(cut back to Happy)
Happy: Everyone's especially excited for this year's most prestigious award: The Jolly for "Fairest in the Land". And here comes the judge: the Magic Mirror!
(cut to Sneezy and Dopey bringing in the Magic Mirror)
Magic Mirror: Hello! Here comes the judge. I know all, I see all, so keep it real, Jollywood.
Happy: Magic Mirror, what award are you looking forward to the most?
Magic Mirror: Well, I have to say the highlight of my night would be giving out the Jolly for "Fairest in the Land".
Happy: And with more on that, here's Grumpy with last year's, well, every year's winner of the "Fairest in the Land", Queen Delightful.

(cut to Grumpy and Queen Delightful in the castle)
Grumpy: Grumpy here. Fairest in the land is all about being glorious, gorgeous, great and what-not. How's that working for you?
Queen Delightful: It's just an honor to be nominated.
Sir Yipsalot: Yip-yip!
Grumpy: She's thrilled, back to you. Hey! There's still some beans in here. Anybody got a fork? (Sir Yipsalot smells the can) Uh-uh... Mine! (Sir Yipsalot growls at Grumpy)

(cut back to Happy)
Happy: This year, the "Fairest in the Land" will receive a special prize. (Sleepy walks in with the special prize) The mystical and magical Jollywood Gemstone Wand.

(cut to the Glooms looking at the Jollywood Gemstone wand via the Crystal Ball)
Hildy: Oh Grim, look at that beyond-gorgeous Jolly Gemstone Wand. Me wantie.
Grim: But Hildy, my Wildy, you already ‘’have’’ a perfectly good wand.
Hildy: I want ‘’that’’ one! (thunder roars) ‘’’And I'm going to get it too!’’’ I'm ‘’way’’ prettier than that Queen Delightful.
Grim: Yes you are, my beloved beauty.
Hildy: So, if I'm going to win that wand, I need to be fairest in the land by far. But how? Think, Grim, think.
Grim: (a thought bubble appears with an image of a kettle) I'm thinking, I'm thinking. I’m thinking. I’m thinking. Aaaaah! (the thought bubble disappears) Okay, what if we could make Queen less fair?
Hildy: Then I would be more fair. Grim, you actually have a good idea. (walks off)
Grim: Yes, that must be why I have the dizzies... (Grim felt dizzy until he fainted on the couch)

(cut back to the castle's throne room where Sir Yipsalot is painting a portrait of Squire Peckington and Queen Delightful is painting a portrait of Sir Yipsalot painting Squire Peckington, a knock is heard on the door)
Delightful: Lord Starchbottom! There's someone at the door!

(cut to the bathroom where Starchy is taking a bath)
Starchy: I graciously accept this award for best bubble hat.

(cut back to the throne room)
Delightful: Oh he must still be in the tub. (puts the art supplies aside) I'll get it. (another set of knocks are heard, opens the door) Hello?
(the Glooms appear disguised as hairdressers)
Hildy: (Both she and Grim inspects her) Ah! My queenie-weenie delight-skis, you're so glad we're here, yes?
Delightful: Uhm... Uh... Yes, yes I am. And you are?
Hildy: Here to give you your makeover.
Grim: So you'll be all pretty and what-not for the Jollys tonight.
Hildy: Yay.
Delightful: Yay!

(cut to where Queen Delightful is being taken care of for her makeover, Grim puts cucumber slices over Delightful's eyes)
Hildy: Now, you lie back and think of pretty thought-skis.
Delightful: (breathes a sigh of relief) Sweet turkens.
(Hildy puts some ingredients to a mortar and grinds it with a pestle, and recites a spell)
Hildy: Take the face of Queen Delightful, turn it into something frightful. (she then brushes Delightful's face with the concoction)
Delightful: Oooh, that tingles!
Grim: (grates something over her face) Good! Now, just leave it on until we're out of here.
Hildy: Grim!
Grim: Uh, I mean until it dries.
Hildy: You'll be so pretty, you'll be a whole new you-ski. (then she and Grim starts leaving)
Delightful: A whole new me-ski? Oooh! Imagine that. Oh, whatever will I do with the old me-ski?

(cut to the night of the Jollys)
Delightful: Who's the fairest in the land? I am. (she wipes off her face with a towel revealing her ugly new look) There! All ready for the Jollys! (she heads for the treasure room) I can't wait to see the brand new me-ski. Oh, Magic Mirror? Oh, I guess she's already gone to the Jollies. Oh well.
(Delightful heads to the throne room to show Squire Peckington and Sir Yipsalot her look)
Delightful: So... how do you like my new look?
Squire Peckington: Hamana-hamana-hamana...
Delightful: Oooh. Speechless, are we? (she shows her look to Sir Yipsalot)
Sir Yipsalot: (screams then faints)
Delightful: Drop-dead gorgeous? Oh, you two.
Starchbottom: Your Majesty, it's time to leave for the awards.
Delightful: Starchbottom, I had a makeover, what do you think of my new look?
Starchbottom: (thinks for a second) Uh, I'll be right back.
(Starchy runs for the elevator and rides it down all the way to the basement, then runs down a flight of stairs, he then lights up a lamp, then screams out loud)
Starchbottom: If I let her go to the Jollies looking like that, she'd lose the "Fairest in the Land" title ‘’and’’ the Jolly Gemstone Wand. So I was forced to do the positively unthinkable.

(Cut to Starchy on the balcony of the Castle)
Starchy: I have to ring the beeeugh.... The bo-bohooo, The b-b-b-bi-ba-ba-hoo... The bing-boughooo... The-the... The Bing-Bong Bell! (the rope falls, he then pulls it down to ring the alarm) Yeah!

(Cut to the 7D, backstage at the Jollys)
Doc: It's the Bing-Bong Bell!
Bashful: The Queen needs us!
Sneezy: To the Castle!
Dopey: (whistles)
Magic Mirror: Hey, hey, hey! Wait up, where y'all going? Just leave me hangin’? Well, I am a mirror.

(Cut to the 7D arriving at the Castle and meets up with Starchy)
Starchbottom: Hold it!
Grumpy: What's up, Starchy? The Queen called us.
Starchbottom: No. I called you.
Happy: Awwww, you need a big group hug?
Starchbottom: Ewwwww, no! The Queen had a makeover that didn't go over and now she needs a do-over or her reign as "Fairest in the Land" will be over.
Doc: Can you go over that again?
Starchbottom: She's going to lose the "Fairest in the Land" Jolly.
Bashful: Impossible.
Starchbottom: No, it's true. And I don't know what to do.
Grumpy: If it was so bad, why didn't the Queen call us herself?
Starchbottom: The Queen hasn't seen herself yet, that's why. (sticks his tongue out) Bah!
Doc: We better see this for ourselves.
Starchbottom: Alright. But we can't upset her, so just... act normal.

(The 7D made some crazy faces and poses as they head to see Queen Delightful, they soon reached the room where they'll meet her)
Doc: Queen Delightful?
Delightful: (Turns around and shows her look to them) Hi! How do you like the new me-ski?
(The 7D and Starchy innocently smiles, Bashful on the other hand faints)
Happy: If Bashful was any indication, you're a knock-out!

(Cut to Doc and Grumpy)
Doc: We couldn't let the Magic Mirror see the Queen like that, so we decided to come up with a plan... Plan A.
Grumpy: We couldn't think up a Plan A, so we came up with a Plan B.
Doc: We covered up her new look by having her wear a deep sea diving suit. (laughs) I can't believe we did that. (takes off his glasses, wipes something from his eyes and puts the glasses back on) Oh, you gotta love Plan B. (continues to laugh)

(Cut to Delightful wearing the diving suit)
Delightful: But I can't see a thing!
Grumpy: It's the latest fad in Paree.
Delightful: People must be stumbling around all over the city. (stumbles) Orevwa! (crashes)

(Cut to the Jollies, the dwarf are backstage escorting Delightful to her seat)
Delightful: Where are we going?
Grumpy: Uh, this is the shortcut to your box seat.
Magic Mirror: (notices Delightful's arrival) Oooh, is that Queen Delightful I hear? Delightful!
Delightful: (gasps) The Magic Mirror! I can finally see my new look.
Doc: No time, this way.
Delightful: Bonjour! (stumbles and falls a short flight of steps) Excusez moi! (giggles) Pardonnez moi!
(They soon reached the box seat and escorts Delightful who stumbles and lands upside down on her seat)
Hildy: This is better than I've ever imagined. I'm so going to win this. That wand is mine.

(Cut to the start of the Jollys as Sneezy and Dopey bring in the Magic Mirror to the stage)
(Song: "It's The Jolly Awards")
Here are the Jolly Awards,
Prepare yourself for entertainment galore.
You'll see the best, the jolliest and so much more... (So much more...)
Oh, by golly, it's the Jolly Awards.
(song ends)

(Cut to the audience, who each have a Jolly award)
Magic Mirror: And now, for the moment you've all been waiting for: the Jolly for "Fairest in the Land". And the winner is...
Hildy: It came true! (Heads down to the stage, stepping on some of the Jollywoodians) Look out! Make way! Winner coming through! "Fairest in the Land"! (walks to the stage in front of the Magic Mirror) I just want to thank me for helping me be the prettiest me.
Magic Mirror: Excuse me! The winner for "Fairest in the Land" isn't you. It's Queen Delightful.
Hildy: What?!
Delightful: Oh! What a surprise! Thank you! Merci! Merci beaucoup! Oh, thank you so much! You're too kind.
Hildy: No, no, no, no, no! I'm the fairest in the land, I'm more fairer than she is, just look at her. (She then removes the diving helmet, revealing her monstrous look)
(The audience gasps, Delightful then looks at the mirror)
Delightful: The latest fad in Paree, huh? (Bashful, Grumpy and Starchy gasps) Oh well, I guess I just don't understand French fashion.
Grumpy: Put the helmet back on.
Hildy: See? You have to reconsider.
Starchbottom: We're doomed. (faints and lands on the 7D)
Magic Mirror: Alright, alright. I'll rejudge the category of "Fairest in the Land". Happy?
Hildy: Oh yeah. That's me! Own it, work it, shake it. That's right. Buy it, wear it, return it, get credit.
Magic Mirror: I've made my selection. The "Fairest in the Land" is… (everyone is shown in suspense) still Queen Delightful.
Hildy: Nooooo!
Magic Mirror: Still her.
Hildy: No! How can that be?
Magic Mirror: Hildy, let me explain. You see, magic mirrors don't look at things the same way as regular mirrors do. We see what's inside your heart. And it's clear to me that Queen Delightful's heart is definitely the "Fairest in the Land", so she wins.
(The Jolly Gemstone Wand flies and lands on Queen Delightful's hand turning her back to her normal look)
Audience: Ooh!
Bashful: I get it, the magic from the Jolly Gemstone Wand made her outsides match her insides.
Hildy: (angrily) Give me that wand! I may not be the Fairest in the Land, but I still got my wand!
(green dust appears in front of her, and immediately fades away, once the dust is done fading away, it’s revealed that Hildy has turned into an ugly monster, the audience gasps as a reaction)
Grim: Ew!
Hildy: What’s...happening?
(the dwarfs come walking by)
Bashful: The Jolly Gemstone Wand reveals your inner beauty.
Grumpy: And evidently, your inner beauty needs a makeover.
(Hildy looks in the mirror, and sees her new monster look)
Hildy: Oh, no! I’m hideous!
Grim: True dat.
Hildy: (sobs) Grim, take me home! (flies to Grim and grabs him)
Grim: Gladly, my not-so-gorgeous goblin.
(the audience appears disgusted)
Happy: And now, the Jollies have ended
And the outcome was splendid
Grumpy: Plan B turned out to be better than we planned
Happy: The 7D defeated…
The Glooms, who then retreated
And the Queen is still the Fairest in the Land
Oh, yes, she is
Oh, the Queen is still the Fairest in the Land
Dwarfs: Heigh-ho!
(episode ends)

The 7D episode transcripts
Season 1
The Long, Long Winter | Itsy Bitsy Spider Fighters | Sneezin' Season | The Delightful Diamond Mystery | Mirror, Mirror | The Big Bash | Surprise | Welcome to the Neighborhood | Sir Yipsalot and the Goose | Starchy Takes a Break | The Littlest Giants | Gnome Alone | Sleepytime | Goldilocks and the 7D | For the Love of Cheese | Let's Get Organ-ized | Grampa Grumpy and the Ogre | The Fairest in the Land | The 8th D | New Shoe | Bathtub Bashful | Knick Knack Paddy Whack | Grim the Dragon | Free Teensy | The Jollywood Jam | Hildy the Good | Buckets | Frankengloom | Uncle Humidor | Grim the Genius | The Enchanted Shoes | Hildyrella | Big Bad Sneezy | Cat on a Hot Grim Roof | Gingersnaps and Grumpy Snaps | Jollybells | The Very Important Thingy | Leaf It To Sneezy | 7 Frogs | Sir Yipsalot and the Mutt | The Queen's Quest | Finders Keepers | Abraca-Dopey | Bing Bong Beans | Doing the 7D Dance | Big Rock Candy Flim-Flam | The Rock of Sages
Season 2
When Pigs Fly | Knight School | In Yer Dreams, Pal | The Great Glitterpillar | Oh Happy Grumpy | Funniest Haircut Day | Say Pest to the Dress | Delight Me, Delight Me Not | Whose Voice is it Anyway? | Take Your Pet to Lunch Day | Giggleberries | Jollyball Anyone? | Miss Fortune Teller | Grump-Tiki | You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yeti! | Which Witch is Which? | The Family Pickles | Chicken Soup for the Troll | Dr. Jingleheimer | The Enchanted Forest Ranger | Take Me To Your Grumpy| Nicely Done and The 7D | Smarty Tooth | Surely You Jest | Hop To It, Dopey! | What Are You, Five? | Bedknobs and Gloomsticks | Take Care of Your Elf! | Game of Grumpy | The 7D and the Beast | Bummer Vacation | They Growl By Night | The Jollywood Games | Planks, But No Planks | Shapeshifter | There's a Monkey in My Hat | Water Ya Doin', Dopey? | Once in a Purple Moon | A Royal Pain in the Castle | A Sneeze in Time

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